


No Tears Left to Cry

by jitteryfinch



Category: Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Drabble, Earth, Homeworld (Steven Universe), Homeworld is Horrible, Mady writes another Pearl piece, Now We’re Only Falling Apart, Prerebellion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-09-26 20:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17148707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jitteryfinch/pseuds/jitteryfinch
Summary: “There is a certain pleasure in weeping.” -Ovid





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pink Diamond gives Pearl something she doesn't know she already had. It is overwhelming.

Pearl lacked the words to describe the way it looked when the colors of the sunset danced on the surface of the ocean, the way the gently lapping waves seemed to sweep them up until the water was just as vibrant as the horizon. Pink had settled on ‘beautiful,’ which was perfect. It was Pink who had said it, after all, so it had to be perfect.

Pearl, if she’d been asked very specifically to comment upon the phenomenon before her, after she was finished explaining the atmosphere and the rotation of the planet, may have called it radiant, or exquisite, or incandescent.

Or wonderful.

She was not asked, and Pink Diamond was already turning away.

Pearl moved to follow her mistress, but found that  
her feet felt heavier than usual, that her eyes kept moving of their own accord back to the ocean.  
It took a while for her to realize Pink was staring at her, eyes wide in fascination.

“...what are you doing?” Pink asked, and Pearl startled, her feet finding a reasonable third position and her hands folding politely in front of her.

“What would you like me to do, my Diamond?” She chirped, and Pink frowned.

Pearl’s face started to warm up, just as it almost did when her Diamond was displeased, but it worsened when she advanced towards her, kneeling in front of the little gem so that they were almost eye to eye.

If pearls could feel, she was sure she’d be feeling everything at once when Pink’s hands settled on her shoulders.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, my Pearl.”

Pearl has never, ever Disobeyed an Order, doesn’t even have the capacity to do so, but this one doesn’t make sense. On her mind? She has been given an order nonetheless, and her mouth answers without hesitation.

“I was admiring the sunset. It’s astonishing.” Pearl rattled off, and the words had broken through a thick barrier deep within just to be heard.

“Astonishing.” Pink repeated, narrowing her eyes. “You’re astonished?”

The question was so simple that the weight it carried seemed ridiculous, and if Pearl hadn’t been truly astonished before, she was now.

She was Feeling Something.

“...yes.” Pearl answered, breathless. 

“Mm.” Pink hummed her approval, a curious smirk playing on her lips. “Anything else?”

The barrier was broken, and Pearl almost wished she could seal it back up, for what was escaping was impossible to understand. She liked having things just so.  
She hadn’t known she ‘liked’ anything.  
And now she was wondering— thousands of questions were flooding her brain, and no one had asked her to ponder them.  
What was she feeling now? Was it allowed?Had she always felt these things? Was it anything like what a real gem felt? Now that she had them wouldtheyTAKETHEMFROMHER and DIDSHE WANTTHEMGONE?  
Alarm rose in her, and her hands started to shake. There was a tingling in her nose and her eyes were starting to sting and then tears were dripping down her porcelain cheeks and leaving tiny glimmering streaks and-!

“Pearl, stop! It’s all right!”

And it is quiet again. The little gem stilled.

“That’s enough for tonight, my Pearl.”

There were no more questions, only a vague echoing revelation that whatever had just happened, it was because of Pink. Pink had granted her something very precious or cursed her with something terrible (only time would tell which).

It was her Diamond’s doing.

“Let’s go.”

It was not an Order, but it was enough. Pearl found herself -not compelled, but certainly encouraged- following in step behind Pink once again.

She spared one last gaze out toward the ocean and heaved a sigh. She should like to stay here and enjoy the breeze. She should like to feel the sand between her fingers. She should like to step into the water and let it rush over her until she is calm. She would like these things, but she did not even consider wanting them. In the place of true Want or Longing there is simply a vague wistfulness that settled over her as she nodded.

“As you wish, my Diamond.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I may add to this if inspiration hits. Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Diamond's tears are extraordinary, but a Pearl's are (to coin a phrase) earth-shattering.

_I’m going to ask her today._

 

It is the first thought Pearl has as the sun breaks, followed immediately by a short self-scolding for having a thought unprompted. There have been many such scoldings since The Incident. The thoughts come f̶r̶e̶e̶l̶y̶ unbidden and unordered, some passing, some pressing, all of them Pearl’s own. She hasn’t been able to stop them. Many are about Pink, and most of them about whatever she did to make Pearl have that rush of volatile sentiment in her gut, that flurry of everythingatonce that knocked the breath from her chest. 

That feeling.

The word was terrifying. (Terrifying, she quietly cataloged, does that count? That’s one. It did not shake her very being like it had then, but Pink had commanded her to stop...)

She had been lost in her own mind for several minutes now, and didn’t realize she wasn’t focusing her liege until her own feet are suddenly moving, her hands lifting to unlock the door. Her Diamond must have asked her to open it. Snapping back to attention, she followed in stride with Pink, glancing up at her every so often to try and infer where they might be headed, silently berating herself for not listening.

... then again, Pink hadn’t explicitly asked her to listen.

This set off another spiral of questions that she hasn’t been asked to ponder and hasn’t been asked to not ponder.Rebellion had snuck its way under her skin and into her bones for the very first time, and it is intoxicating. (Intoxicating. Again, she stowed that away. That’s two.)

It didn’t take her long to land on something groundbreaking as she followed that discovery down one path after another- Pink has never asked her not to speak.

“Um...”The syllable was still echoing through the hall as the Diamond stopped cold in her tracks, her head whipping around to look at the smaller gem. Pearl halted, as well, immediately shrinking into herself as she stared back at her mistress. “I’m sorry. I, uh... I was... wondering...”

“You were? Fascinating.” Pink interrupted, once again taking a knee to be face to face with Pearl.

“Yes, I- I was wondering...” She stammered, a furious blush rising to her cheeks as she struggles -and truly, it is a struggle- to finish her sentence. “...about what you asked of me several days ago when w-we were watching the sun set.”

“When I asked you how you were feeling?” Pink clarified, excitement sparkling in her eyes, and she had said The Terrifying Word and it made Pearl’s knees start to shake.

“Yes, and w-when you asked me to stop.” She stated, and concern flashes over Pink’s face.

“Oh, Pearl, you don’t have to stop—!”

Pink didn’t finish her sentence. She was cut short as a pained gasp erupts from her Pearl. She practically doubled over, eyes immediately welling up with tears as the wave crashed into her again. It was more intense this time- maybe because of how she missed it, maybe because Pink had explicitly allowed it, maybe because she had sought it out. She was losing track of the emotions, unable to properly identify them and file them away when they were barraging her so quickly. Overwhelmed, she squeezed her eyes shut tight, wincing from the internal attack, and Pink started to speak up.

_What if she takes it away again?_

“No, please!” Pearl clutched onto her Diamond’s arm as the plea is wrought from her heart, and her breathing began to even out. “I don’t want to stop.” When Pearl opened her eyes, Pink’s face is barely an inch from hers, watching in rapt captivation.

“You don’t have to.” She reassured, bringing her into the cradle of her arms. “What do you want?”

A new path for Pearl to explore. She thought perhaps this one might go on forever, but instead she put her expedition on hold and stopped at the first opportunity.

“I want to go back to the ocean.” Pearl breathed, and Pink Diamond beamed to rival the sunrise. 

“That can be arranged.” She said, standing and offering her hand out to Pearl.

(Alive, she added. That’s three.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for putting up with my incredibly self-indulgent Pearl nonsense. Please kudos and comment if you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I may add to this if inspiration hits. Comments are highly appreciated! Let me know what you think!


End file.
